Here are my wishes for you:

1. That you feel full of love from family, friends, fans, and God. I know you are feeling it much to what you expect but I hope it’s something that’s not temporary, I hope it’s something that directs you to your dreams

2. That your upcoming album will be a success.

3. The booming of your network. Optimism and motivation count. ( that’s what I lost)

4. for your good health

5. that you’ll be showered by blessings as well as your significant others.

I had a great time listening, not to music this time, to the preach of the pastor in the Victory Christian Fellowship at the St. Thomas Square. Big thanks to Mark Eduard who invited me to attend the church. Btw, Ed is awesomely a sort of VIP in that church, being the overall director. With me was ate Hazel Palomar whom I luckily spotted on the 3^rd floor.

There were two lively songs + two mellow songs at the start of the mass. I was instantly mobilized at the same time frozen the moment I heard Christian songs once again. it’s been quite a long time and I admittedly missed it. this same feeling that I wanted to cry and feel sorry for abandoning my relationship with God dominated me. then as I listened to the lyrics of the songs, it just so happened that thay all fitted to my present condition. maybe that’s how god’s power is being directed to anyone.

Then there was also the intermission song by the music ministry for mothers, of course coz ‘twas Mother’s Day. The topic of the preach, or it was like more of a Sunday school in the Pastor Romy’s church, was also all about mothers. The preach was good that I was able to relate it to myself.

**Ode to my Mother and to all other mothers

          Here are some of the things the Pastor taught us why mother is one unique being to us their daughters and sons:

1. she taught us logic

2. She taught us medicine: “ Pag dimo ininom yang gamut dika gagaling!”

3. She taught us to think ahead: “ Galingan mo yang math to get a good job!”

4. She taught us challenge: “sige magsalita ka and say your point, then, aba at sumasagot ka na ngayung ha?” paradox diba

5. she taught us anticipation: “Pagdating mo sa bahay makikita mo ang hinahanap mo!”

6. she taught us genetics: “ Parehas talaga kayo ng tatay mo!”

          But beyong those humorous anecdotes which are most likely happening to us, our mothers are really unique in this world. No one can compare how much they give their unconditional love for us.

          My mother I would say, is a typical woman but at the same time our guide, our provider, our support. Anything I can imagine rolled into one. Though I may not always agree with her ideals she’s still my mom whose life has been dedicated to us, her family, whose world revolve around us. Personally, I do not see myself as dedicated as her and I do not agree with sparing all her life only to us but leaving nothing for herself. But I still feel grateful to think that someone in this world is existing ready to gie everything, sacrifice anything without any reservations nor hesitations. Mother are truly heroes on their own.

          Technically speaking, “mother” literally means one that bonds. She’s someone who strengthens the family. And I agree with it. that’s why I would say that this bond was almost detached when my mom was so ruined due to this significant circumstance in our lives.

          The Pastor gave us the reasons why we should honor our mothers:

1. it’s the right thing to do, ‘twas said in the bible. Our mothers may not be honorable, may be a gambler, chismosa or drunkard, but it is the right thing to do. They are still our mothers who carried us 9 months in their wombs. Jist imagine the sacrifice they bear? The right thing to do is what pleases Go and also us.

2. They deserve it. Mother deserve to be honored not only because they have the authority over us, they’re the first authority figure we must abide but also as I’ve been saying, so great are their sacrifices JUST FOR US.

3. We derive blessing from it. it’s like the principle of reaping and sowing. We give honor to them and it will be given back to us.

          So great is their LOVE for us that they sometimes forget to give time for themselves. And taking care of them when they’re old is like giving back to them what they deserve. Life is a cycle, as Pastor says. Children and oldies are the most vulnerable people that they need to be taken care of.

          As a student, the best thing I can give to my mom for her to feel being honored is good grades. You know, it’s like a consolacion to them, the prize for all their deeds. Now I understand why they give their 100% just to give us a quality education and expecting us to compensate for this somehow. Before, I got irritated when they expect so something that might be beyond my capabilities. But I think they’re entitled to it. but aside from those concrete evidence of love, living righteously is another way of honoring them. Yung hindi ka magrereklamo patalikod pero pag kaharap mo sila e parang maamong tupa. And shwing them that we care in the simplest acts still matter like offering them foods and massage after a whole day of toil. I haven’t pampered my mom like that before but I wish to do it in the future. The only thing that I didn’t agree with the pastor was when he stated one example where the daughter is having a relationship with an addict and tattoed man. of course, this image would naturally turn off any parents. But I think that bad image does not matter because the daughter is the one who will live with that tattoed guy not the parents. I dunno but that’s my opinion.

1. Omac – 3^rd to arrive. We went outside while waiting for the others and looked for ice cream. Pero wala naman. I badly craved ice cream that time!

2. Jaquelyn – twice sha bumalik, she was enjoying talga kung ganon though her Barkadas were absent.

3. Zyra – the orange girl yo! Kasakasama ko sha sa C.R. kasi nung gabi na, we were like afraid na..hehe

4. JM – 1^st to arrive. Pinainom ako neto ng ilang basong red horse. NALASHING tuloy ako. I’ll take my revenge next time. Prepare yourself! Hehe

5. Allan – we had a heated but funny debate kung sino ang mas magaling, MYMP o Kitchie. We ended up agreeing they’re not worth comparing. I also borrowed his fone from time to time, at inubos ko ata ung load nya. Pasensha napo, pero na-miss ko lang talagang mag-text e.. kwentuhan ko din eto about Cornessa with a nick Yen, her GF na taga-Pagadian City. Layo nun ah. They’re classmates at UP Baguio.

6. Jason aka Dukes – tahimik pero kalog din. Kakwnetuhan ko din to. yo!

7. Coryn – Dami to binulgar, inasar at kinwento. Your da best talga! She also made our pulutan – pork with tokwa, also our dinner – adobong sitaw. She also discussed with us when we were all half-consciuos about Kurt, the great musician.. Hey, kahapon lan I was jamming with Nirvana’s cd ah?

8. Ariane aka “nini” – she cooked our French fries and helped me in sending pix for Avey. She was in blended color with Nadel and Eduard. Soul friends! I also saw her thoughtfulness to Jekjek, her BF. They were the perfect couple of the night..

9. Eduard – we had a small talk about his church. Hmm. God’s servant.

10. Wins – At last, nakaarbor din ako ng accessory nya sa hand. It’s a combination of black and red. Astig.

11. Nadel – my “mom”. We had pictyuran with her fone. Kinalikot ko din yung fone nya, hehe. nothing wrong, she’s my mom!

12. Mark Lord – nakitext ako ditto ng isang beses when I texted Enjel.

13. Jek – twas olready nyt when he arrived. We chatted about how Rambo, his youger brother became the drummer of Pentavia. Ilabrakenrol!

14. Kiko – ang artista sa batch naming, yo! I think pumayat siya. I wonder why?

15. Alexies – our forever comedian. Nasira headphone neto kasi nasabit sa electric fan. Tsk tsk. He provided our music from his fone. The radio was connected to the speakers of QV’s pc. He also brought camera with only 2 shots, waahh!

16. Kathlyn – the cousin acting like GF of Alexies from CEU. I learned from her stuff about rehabilitation of addicts and mental hospital..still missing Agot. L

17. other girl – kasama ni Jaquelyn. A pretty girl.

18 QUESTVON BONAMY- he cooked our luch – adobong pork,sarap. Then the hotdog na nahulog pero pinakain parin sa late comers hehe. he is the owner of the house, ang utak na lahat ng ito. Ang bait talaga nito.

Ate Karla is having her despedida party at the moment. See, it’s 3:45 a.m. by my watch but I’m eating 2 magnolia ice cream in cups – one chocolate and one ube. ICE CREAM, anyone? They’re outside having their drinking session for the nth time. On Saturday, May 7, she’ll be going to Australia na. I would miss her, surely. Also kuya giov will be leaving for Belgium on that same date. I had happy memories with them. Karla is the liberated 21-year old girl here. Yosi dito yosi dun. And I think she’s into E. We chatted with a French guy once when all else here are sleeping. Hehe. on the other hand, kuys Giov is the sensitivest guy I ever met. Actuall, they just reconciled with my bro and kuya dj. They just had very SMALL argument that lasted for months! And now, it’s my turn, he doesn’t talk to me. and shit talga, just because I called him not by his name but by “pssst” he’d get mad. He’s acting irrational. And I don’t like that kind of people. Besides, most of us use that tag as an endearing way. I would never say sorry coz’ I don’t deserve being treated like that. haay, it’s like he wasted our 4-months friendship because of that single instance. How can I say that it’s a true friendship. Well, he’s not my lost by the way. I don’t depend on him either. Though, he really is my financer when I don’t have money I still cant understand that he took what I called him seriously. It’s only acts of narrow-minded people. And those people will never have true friends nor would last for longer time. He should’ve remove that attitude before it’s too late. I should’ve talk to him and acted like I don’t know, but shit, he must be the first to talk to me. I have pride too, and we’re both Taurus. I can get mad and act like a bull, really.

I had a GREAT TIME spending my 24+ hours with my high school classmates. KUDOS to Questvon Bonamy- the mastermind of this early celebration of his birthday.

I woke up late in the morning eyesore with the messy site of our “veranda” – my alcoholic housemates had drunk all the night again. So, I did what an irritated being would do, that is, I left home and headed to the party celebration.

VENUE: 37 K3rd St Kamuning.

I did not have the hard time looking for the house since it was 2 blocks away from the main street. The sunny weather annoyed me though. Surprisingly, I was 2^nd to arrive in QV’s home kahit I was lamost 2 hours late from the set time. JM and QV were sitting on the concrete stairways when I arrived. Filipino time talaga..My goodness.

I occupied my time talking with Avey on QV’s fone. Sayang. She was in Baler. Daming pinagkwentuhan kami but mostly about Allan, her ex-lover, I think it’s the right term, don’t i? hehe. Then, I also called Ayne and texted all my other classmates to come. The hell with them at hindi pa sila dumadating.

It was exciting that we numbered to almost over 15! What a RECORD-breaking phenomenon. It was like a batch reunion. Eto sila lahat:

The whole afternoon of Saturday I was just listening to this album of Nirvana. His songs are all great, most have a theme of angst and the melody connotes sadness. I was just wondering where would the band be right now if he did not take his life through “suicide”, if that was really the case. I read an article when I was in elementary about his mysterious death saying he better choose to die than to see himself loosing his fame. But some said that it was his lover Courtney Love ata that killed him. Whatever the truth is only Him knows. It’s is apologetic to know that such great artist with a handsome face could just be lost in this world during his fame. Parang sinayang nya lahat. They say that he was heavily into drugs. And it’s a fact that a person loses his consiousness and being and sense of direction when he’s high on it. That’s a logical reason to serve as the possible reason how he easily took his life. Tsk Tsk. Beyond this, I perceive Nirvana as one of the most influencial bands of his time and even today. In fact, when Kurt Cobain died, many of his fans also did committed suicide. This is how he affect many’s lives. I also remember when I was young when I got to watched one of his music videos where it was taken live from the band’s performances how Kurt would wreck his guitar and any unsightful acts of his time. But these acts seem normal on today’s mainstream rock bands like Queso, the bands formerly known as Cheese and Kamikazee. Both vox would do acrobats while performing. I am not familiar with foreign bands.

April 18

First day of class. I had a hard time riding a jeepney to UP Campus. All PUJ are on strike. Sobrang dami nakaabang sa shed sa philcoa. Buti nalang some private pajeros were willing to take us to UP but cost us P10. I only had my PI 100 class, 11-1pm at AS 216-218. the class did not resume yet. Syllabus was only given. I waited for my next class, then saw my sister’s classmates Pat, Ruthie and Jeff in FC. Unfortunately, I did not know that class was suspended in the afternoon due to the strike. I just waited for nothing. Sigh.

April 19

Saw my prof in Pan Pil 19. She was fun. Surprisingly, she was one of the cast of this movie Bridal Shower ata my classmate told me.

April 20

I accidentally bumped with Lala and Alexies along the AS Parking lot. The fact that they were taking summer class here in Diliman delighted me. ( they’re school is UP Baguio). It would mean hanging out ith my long missed high school classmates. Aiza and Allan are also here daw. .wow. I bought radio in tiangge worth P50 hope this would last a time.

April 22

We watched EARTH DAY sa Tomas morato with kuya and dj. Kitchie played last. Sponge and Parokya were also there. Grabeh when PnE played, simula na naman ang mosh. The MTV hosts even threatened the audience that I would be stopped if they mosh aggressively. Duh! Mosh really is that way, that’s the very nature of mosh pit so why expect to behave differently. Luckily, we had a nice place seeing all the performers on the 2^nd floor of a resto. Nakakatawa kasi one of the women behind me was astonished on what she witnessed on the way the crowd acted. Haha. She might haven’t experienced such deadly acts. . she was panicking when one of the jologs was blown by a glass of alcoholic which made his face bleed, his white sleeveless shirt like that of iyan was stained with blood. His shirt reminds me of ***

April 24

Had a hang out with qv, dukes and Ayne. We had fun inside the movie house [ the interpreter]. We were already inside at around 3.30 while the movie will resume at 4.30 so we just played inside and made some cool stuff. Haha. Then Alexies arrived. Nakakatawa na nakakainis  kasi dumating siya without money for cine the fact na lam nya na nsa sine na kami ha. Hehe. un nilibre na lan sha ni qv at dukes. Then we were halfway when Allan arrived. Kya dina nya sinimulan kasi we wanted to go home. Hehe. wawa naman sha. Tapos nilibre nila kami ng ice cream. Dami nga naming pinagpilian. Una, goto, tapos jollibbee tapos we ended up eating yummy ice cream..

I went to Daniel’s haus to clear up all the things about Agot. I was so sad with what happened to him. He was out of his cosciousness. He was nearly insane ( litearally) with what did. The story was this : Daniel and Agaton with their friends stayed in Bazal and had a good time. The morning after, Agot doing things normal people would not do. I ptiy him so much. I cried so much, good thing I controlled my emotions when I was in Daniel’s haus. Agot was a very good friend of mine, with a good heart. Fate was just too selfish of him. His bad image did not change him to respect us, his old classmates. All the happy days when we were together lat December flashbacked. I would not consider some of the things he said as premonitions of what will happen to him. Last Dec 30 when we two were having a good time, he told me not to cry when he’s gone. Of course, I blurted I wont. I just wish and pray today that everything of him will be all right. He would come back to his normal life, to a good life. Daniel and I planned to visit him in Baguio.

Aryan and I went to Agot’s haus to ask for the address. Sad to say, he is not allowed to be visited. We have to wait for 3-5 months before we can visit him. i just feel so lonely inside. I don’t want my friends to be in that condition especially if I am so close to him/to others. I pray that few months from now he would be well, he would still know me. i am puzzled that weeds would be the prime cause of what happened to him. maybe his life was that thunderous that he can no longer make it right. He is kind, I am certain of that. Maybe he is just a victim of his present condition. I just wish him well.

It was graduation day of Wesleyan University. I and Kaye watched. We were supposed to be with our two cousins, Aryan and Kim. But Aryan was sick and Kim in gimik. I was still hoping Daniel would show up. I felt sad he didn’t again at the graduation day. I saw my elem classmate Ron-ron. Gulat ako kasi kinlabit nya ako sa likod. I didn’t recognized him easily. Nagpagupit na sha. Surprisingly, I chanced to see sila Jad, Jocel, Ab, and other guys and gals of Baler. Mataba parin si Jad. Nag-aaya sila to have overnyt, but I  was not in the mood. After the graduation, I stayed in uncle edong’s store. I played with my two nieces – denise and alex. I think the universe really conspire with my desire. Daniel apparently appeared when I decided to come home. But he had not said a thing. Just ask my uncle he said. So I asked uncle edong, it was still unclear. All he knew was that Agot was brought to Bataan then to Baguio.